I was just munching on some cereal and reading one of my (many) Peanuts books.<\/p>\n
Sporadically, throughout the late 1960’s strips, Snoopy can be seen working on a novel, and receiving input from Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, and the rest of the gang.<\/p>\n
It turns out that, a while back, someone went to the trouble to compile the complete text<\/a>.\u00a0 Here is Snoopy’s novel, copypasta’d from here<\/a>:<\/p>\n It Was A Dark And Stormy Night<\/p>\n by Snoopy<\/p>\n Part I<\/p>\n It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!<\/p>\n A door slammed. The maid screamed.<\/p>\n Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!<\/p>\n While millions of people were starving, the king lived in<\/p>\n luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was<\/p>\n growing up.<\/p>\n Part II<\/p>\n A light snow was falling, and the little girl with the<\/p>\n tattered shawl had not sold a violet all day.<\/p>\n At that very moment, a young intern at City Hospital<\/p>\n was making an important discovery. The mysterious patient<\/p>\n in Room 213 had finally awakened. She moaned softly.<\/p>\n Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas<\/p>\n who loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the<\/p>\n daughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates?<\/p>\n The intern frowned.<\/p>\n “Stampede!” the foreman shouted, and forty thousand<\/p>\n head of cattle thundered down on the tiny camp. The two<\/p>\n men rolled on the ground grappling beneath the murderous<\/p>\n hooves. A left and a right. A left. Another left and right.<\/p>\n An uppercut to the jaw. The fight was over. And so the<\/p>\n ranch was saved.<\/p>\n The young intern sat by himself in one corner of the<\/p>\n coffee shop. he had learned about medicine, but more<\/p>\n importantly, he had learned something about life.<\/p>\n THE END<\/p><\/blockquote>\n And here’s a description of Snoopy’s desired cover art:<\/p>\n “How about a bunch of pirates and foreign legionnaires fighting some cowboys with some lions and tigers and elephants leaping through the air at this girl who is tied to a submarine?”<\/p>\n -Snoopy<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Now that’s<\/strong> some damn fine writing.<\/p>\n I was just munching on some cereal and reading one of my (many) Peanuts books. Sporadically, throughout the late 1960’s strips, Snoopy can be seen working on a novel, and receiving input from Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, and the rest of the gang. It turns out that, a while back, someone went to the trouble […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[168,110,6],"tags":[612,610,609,611,608],"class_list":["post-1031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comedy-personal","category-musings","category-personal","tag-charles-m-schulz","tag-charlie-brown","tag-it-was-a-dark-and-stormy-night","tag-schulz","tag-snoopy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/prmTy-gD","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1031"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3193,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions\/3193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}} It Was A Dark And Stormy Night\r\n by Snoopy\r\n\r\n Part I\r\n\r\n It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!\r\nA door slammed. The maid screamed.\r\n Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!\r\n While millions of people were starving, the king lived in\r\nluxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was\r\ngrowing up.\r\n\r\n Part II\r\n\r\n A light snow was falling, and the little girl with the\r\ntattered shawl had not sold a violet all day.\r\n At that very moment, a young intern at City Hospital\r\nwas making an important discovery. The mysterious patient\r\nin Room 213 had finally awakened. She moaned softly.\r\n Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas\r\nwho loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the\r\ndaughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates?\r\nThe intern frowned.\r\n \"Stampede!\" the foreman shouted, and forty thousand\r\nhead of cattle thundered down on the tiny camp. The two\r\nmen rolled on the ground grappling beneath the murderous\r\nhooves. A left and a right. A left. Another left and right.\r\nAn uppercut to the jaw. The fight was over. And so the\r\nranch was saved.\r\n The young intern sat by himself in one corner of the\r\ncoffee shop. he had learned about medicine, but more\r\nimportantly, he had learned something about life.\r\n\r\n THE END\r\n<\/pre>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"