I don’t plan on doing much pontificating, or ranting on this blog, but I thought I’d talk about this.<\/p>\n
Here’s a scenario:<\/p>\n
You have a friend who is throwing a party, or a get-togther, or something.\u00a0 They’ve sent you an invitation, and tell you that they “hope you can make it”.\u00a0 For some reason or another (it could be any reason, really), you can’t actually make the party, and say “Sorry, I can’t be there!”.<\/p>\n
At which point, your friend completely rejects your decision, and starts questioning you on why it is that you can’t make it.\u00a0 They try to find solutions for you, just so that you can show up.\u00a0 They just can’t take “no” as an answer, and leave it be.\u00a0 It just doesn’t sink in for them.<\/p>\n
That really pisses me off.\u00a0 And it doesn’t have to be an invitation to a party, either.\u00a0 It happens anytime someone gives you a choice, and then rejects your decision.<\/em> This is not a choice – it’s the illusion of a choice.\u00a0 The only way it seems like a real choice is when you choose in the other person’s favour – in which case, everything is peachy-keen.\u00a0 Choosing otherwise, however, becomes a hassle.<\/p>\n It gets even worse if they try to punish you, or shame you for your choice.\u00a0 “Oh come on, don’t be a jerk…”, “That’s lame, dude…”, “You’re really letting us down…”, etc.\u00a0 It sort of implies that you (the person who was given the choice) are not capable of making the “correct” choice, or are not capable of forseeing the outcomes of the choice.\u00a0 To me, this type of behaviour, while not intentionally malicious,\u00a0 is highly manipulative and disrespectful.<\/p>\n The best situation, is when the other person simply respects your choice.\u00a0 They might question you on your choice out of sheer curiosity (“are you doing something else that night?\u00a0 Oh, that’s cool, no worries…”), but no struggle.\u00a0 I refer to this as “giving outs”.<\/p>\n For example, anytime I invite people over, I do my best to “give outs”.\u00a0 I say something like, “want to come over?\u00a0 If not, that’s cool – I just thought it’d be a nice day to hang out”.<\/p>\n Honestly, I think it’s just a matter of courtesy and respect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I don’t plan on doing much pontificating, or ranting on this blog, but I thought I’d talk about this. Here’s a scenario: You have a friend who is throwing a party, or a get-togther, or something.\u00a0 They’ve sent you an invitation, and tell you that they “hope you can make it”.\u00a0 For some reason or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[110,6],"tags":[267,1214,268,269],"class_list":["post-444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings","category-personal","tag-courtesy","tag-musings","tag-outs","tag-rant"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/prmTy-7a","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=444"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3243,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/444\/revisions\/3243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeconley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}